


Contradictions

by Sunny_Lana



Category: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Genre: Aggressive Kiss, Ahsoka Returns, Awesome Leia Organa, Confused Kylo, Emperor Kylo Ren, Everyone Has Issues, F/M, Finn has Rose but she needs help, Finn is confused, Force Ghost Luke - Freeform, French Kiss?, I Mean Most of It is Definitely Not Canon, Jyn Erso's Kyber Crystal, Kidnapping, Leia meets Ahsoka, Lip Wound, Poe and Rey Comfort Time, Rey Makes a Trade, Rey is conflicted too, Rey is just HUMAN, Romance, Rose is Injured, Some minor swearing, Unless Episode VII is Crazy, a little violence, angry kiss, lightsaber fights, lip bite, non-canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-04-21 07:36:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14280126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunny_Lana/pseuds/Sunny_Lana
Summary: Kylo Ren is a broken emperor on a cold throne, with emotions tossed like waves. Rey is an inferno with a new family to treasure and protect. Their path has been twisted together by the Force - and their fate is inescapable. Is there a man within the empty shell of Kylo Ren? Or will Rey have to make the ultimate choice?Continuation after Episode VIII: The Last Jedi; all is speculative and inventive, so non-canon.





	1. PART I.

**Author's Note:**

> The first few parts of this story are disconnected from each other, but the timeline remains the same. This chapter is just after the end of The Last Jedi, when everyone's flying away on the Falcon.

_Part I._

He just sort of grinned, and she recognized what Finn had seen in him. He was effervescent, like a flame that's unwilling to go out no matter how much water you douse it with.

“You know, he was really worried about you,” Poe told her, staring her down with his large brown eyes.

Her eyebrows crinkled, but then she realized he was talking about Finn and there was a soft smile on her face as she looked over to the sleeping hero. “I was worried about him. I guess whatever he was doing must have really worn him out.”

Poe shook his head in mild amusement and gratitude for small miracles. “I'm glad you weren’t there to see it. He nearly sacrificed himself to blow up the First Order's battering ram.”  

Rey instantly looked worried. There was a sort of sense of pride there, like he was becoming the man who wouldn't run away instead of the stormtrooper who was fearful. But she was concerned that perhaps he was overly reckless now that he had a cause to fight for. “What happened?”

A sudden look of apprehension came over Poe's face. Rey had let him tell the tale, even though she already had a sneaking suspicion of what he was going to say. “He wouldn't listen to me when I told him to pull back. I was trying to yank our remaining pilots back, but he wouldn't pull up. There was only one other pilot out there - Rose.” He nodded towards the sleeping girl who was next to where Finn was reclining. “She crashed her rust-bucket-of-a-transport into his to save them both. We nearly lost her.” Poe might have been saying 'he' but something held him back. There was certainly a tension with Finn, once he'd carried Rose back into the base. But at the same time, he held a certain kindred relationship with Rey that Poe did not want to divide.

Rey understood and smiled softly, mysteriously, keeping her thoughts to herself. She didn’t quite know how she felt about Finn. Certainly, she liked him for the most part; at times she was disappointed in him or even mad that he would risk himself ridiculously. But she was inexplicably drawn to Finn in ways she couldn't quite name. Maybe it was because he was the one who had finally dragged her off of Jakku. In a way, Poe had been responsible for the whole thing, really. They never would have met if it wasn't for him.

“Thank you,” Rey intoned quietly, her brown eyes flashing to Poe. “For watching over him. And thank you for rescuing him from the First Order in the first place,” she finished with her voice lowering.

Poe laughed slightly. “Finn did that on his own for the most part.” He mused for a moment, proud to talk about his friend. "I'm amazed he came all that way, finding you, helping BB-8, joining the Resistance. But I'm glad he's here.”

If he weren't with them, he'd be with the First Order. With Supreme Leader Ren.

She hated that. Ben - Kylo - was no supreme leader. He was a scared man, one so terrified of and scarred by his past that he wanted to destroy everything that came with it. His father, his uncle, even Snoke. If he managed to kill his mother, the cycle would be complete. But she wasn't sure what he was hoping to find on the other side.

Her thoughts were all tangled. Everything on Jakku had been simple. Terrible, but simple. This was so different, but she reveled in it. It was her awakening, a piece of her personal puzzle that had been completed.

Then Poe posed a startling question. “Are you okay, Rey?”

She was brought back to earth, grateful that it was not Kylo Ren interrupting her thoughts this time. His eyes were glassy as he looked at her quizzically, like she were an enigma he couldn't quite figure out.

“Interesting question,” Rey laughed, avoiding the barring of her soul.

Poe nodded, acceptant. “I think I already know the answer.”

She noted how those words might sound with Be- _Kylo_ saying them, like it was his arrogance and no understanding beyond his own would work.

Poe was different, like he really understood.

The tears came, trickling down her cheeks like tiny rivers. She tried to tell herself it was just overwhelming, all of it.

But then Poe’s arms were grasping onto hers, and he was looking at her without pity but there was just something there like knowledge, like he knew. And she thought perhaps he did.

She wiped the tears away and looked at him. He released her arms giving her a quizzical look.

She gave him a long look. “He's been in your head before. Kylo Ren.” It wasn't a question. If Finn hadn't mentioned it in passing, she already knew because she had been inside his head not too longer after Poe's interaction with him.

Poe breathed in, staring back at her. “He’s been in my head before, and he pulled and tugged until I gave him what he wanted. He was nothing but ruthless. I was glad when Finn managed to pull me out of there. Kylo Ren…he’s a monster.” He answered, almost breathless, his memories of the past dredging up before him.

 “He was in my head too, when I was on Starkiller base.” Her dark eyes shifted up at him. Was he someone she could trust? She wanted to tell Finn perhaps. Her former companion would be worried. He would tell her not to communicate with Kylo at all, especially not now that they had a bond like telepathy – always seeing and hearing each other. What would Poe say? Suddenly she was curious. If she would not tell Leia, perhaps she would tell one of his favorites. But could she trust him?

Well, she had trusted Kylo, in an odd twist of things. It was out of understanding, out of a knowledge of their similarity, of their connection. It was out of her vision of the future that she believed would hold his turn to the light that she trusted. And he had betrayed her. It was actually unsurprising, but she had been hopeful.

But Poe was different. Poe was already faithful, already full of light. She could already feel the stories surrounding her. It was the Force, living through her, telling her of what had happened here while she was meeting Ren. He had such faith in Finn; she saw that in his eyes. He was held in such regard by Leia that she was practically the son the general always wanted. He was no coward; he was brave, full of life, but he did have some stubborn indignation she could hardly fault him for. She had some of that too. And the Force danced around him familiarly. He had been near it all his life. He had loved it.

He was trustworthy. Perhaps too trustworthy. And she wanted to know how he would react.

Maybe they had been in silence too long while she mused. But she shattered the quiet anyway. “He's in my head too, and he won't leave. We're bonded, by the Force. I see him and he sees me and we can reach out and touch each other but right now I only want to shut him out.” She was ranting, angry but calm enough despite her displeasure with her circumstances.  For a moment she did not want to look at Poe; she didn't want his reaction because it was bound to be negative. But then she did look at him.

He just looked at her for a moment, unblinkingly. Then he slid back into the seat next to her and his arm was around her shoulder. “I'd offer my help getting rid of him if I thought I could help,” Poe said wryly. “But I'm no Jedi,” he pointed out. There was a lapse, but then he spoke again. “Although if I do know one thing, it's that the Force often has a plan, a way of working things out. It binds the earth together, if you're bound to Kylo...” Poe paused, his expression careful, “I can't say I'm jealous. I hate the guy...But the Force might have a reason for leaving you two bound.”

Rey opened her eyes wide, and she couldn't help but look sideways at him. What was his story? Where had he come from? He was not what she had been expecting. Finn was her first friend, and he was ridiculous and funny, and kind, and he knew who he was in and of himself. Poe was a mystery, an enigma. His knowledge of the Force had her spinning, had her wondering.

But she didn't ask - not yet. She just unwrinkled her eyebrows and smiled slightly at him “Maybe you're right.” Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. She felt as though she was duty-bound to hate Kylo but she didn't. Not quite. Surely she was angry with him, furious even. But there was a certain compassion she held in his regards.

And there was joy. Leia was okay, Finn was okay, and Poe was here by her side, taking over some part of her heart like Chewie and Han and Finn and BB-8 and Leia had so easily done. She felt standoffish about Luke, but was grateful that he was at least at peace.

There was this sort of ache in her chest, like she was out of balance. And that was probably true. But Poe was still holding her, lending to her whatever strength he had left because hers was waning. At least she was home.


	2. Part II.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here begins the psychological analysis of our dear Lord Kylo Ren and his tortured existence.

Part II.

Kylo didn't understand love; the concept was the most foreign when it came to love between a man and a woman. He never quite felt love while growing up. Sometimes it radiated from his mother and was directed towards him and that was interesting, because it always paled, dimmed down. She was busy, too busy for love until it was too late.

His father, as it was, was rarely around. And the love he showed towards Leia - _the General_ \- was minimal, or it seemed so from a boy's perspective.

And it all was shadowed when he was sent away. Luke was his uncle, he was family, but he was not personal. He was training them - always _them_ , never _he_ by himself. He was never an uncle and Ben was no one.

Kylo wanted the Ben that was nothing to be dead. In the same turn, he wanted the past to die. He had achieved his goal to some extent; Snoke dead, his father dead, Luke dead. His mother - he couldn't quite bring himself to destroy her. She was old; eventually it would happen.

The Sith would die, too.

But in order to kill the Jedi...he had to kill her.

The girl.

His...other half. The thought twisted in his mind. It was a blank idea; a shell of what someone should encompass being the "other half" of another person.

Maybe that was why he came up with other analogies that were colder. The light to his dark; the rationality to his madness; the rain to his inferno...

It was a pattern of opposites, but it wasn't quite true, because he kept coming back to her being his other half. The missing piece. They were still linked, Snoke was dead: the Force wanted them pushed together.

He hated it. Despised it.

But he was obsessed. She drove him to craziness. He killed his Master for two reasons - she would have died otherwise, but also because he sought power. He wanted it with her... And when she refused?

_Anger. Pain._ It was the memory of his parents fighting tearing into him again, like that memory had flashed into his head so many times. But that made him want to scream, want to kill her.

But not quite.

He wanted to win. He wouldn't give that up.

But _Rey._ Rey was his equal. Rey was not nothing; there was so much potential contained in her that he hated to crush it.

But she was light. The kind of light that is also darkness and everything  in between. The light that is fiery blazing but also as calming as a summer rain, and just as rational it is passionate.

The thoughts threatened to drown him. Could he give her up? He was too selfish for that. He knew himself to be so.

He could corrupt her, given time. He could do it (And yet he knew he couldn't). 

The sea of darkness wanted the ray of light so badly...

It was so basic, wanting always what you can never have.

He could never stop wanting his puzzle to be complete; he wanted her at his side like his visions had promised. They were an echoed memory of fingertips and fire light now, but they stung him, revived him.

He remembered watching her lips part to tell him he was going to be saved, because maybe he had an idea of love between a man and woman. Because maybe he was on the edge of the abyss. Because maybe he was a lonely, terrified man.

And he sat on that marble throne on the _Finalizer_ , wishing he could kill her for making him feel.


	3. Part III.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey has her own brief aside following Kylo's internalization in the last part.

_Part III._

She could touch his fingertips and come to him without having ever learned who he was, because she already knew who he was. She didn’t have to sit through a session of conversations, or fight side by side with him to know who he was.

He was scared. She put that at the top of the list of things she knew about Kylo Ren. He was panicked; it had always been about Luke or Snoke or the hold his parents had over him. Now that the majority of players in his former games were dead, she was the only thing that terrified him. And he was scared of her because she was powerful – stupid to be too trusting, perhaps, but powerful. They were equals of the light and dark.

He was also young. That was not to say that he wasn’t older than her, because he was. He was older than her, his eyes told stories of things she never wanted to experience. But he was young of heart; there was a depressing angst within him, a boyish trepidation, and so much emotion.

He was also powerful. Vindictive, raging, livid, piercing – powerful. But in addition to being powerful, he was unstable. She wouldn’t quite say mentally ill, but she knew he had fits of rage that were impetuous and childish and entirely unhinged. His mask had vanished in one of these experiences. His volatile emotions caused a living storm within him, and she could feel it. He could always use it, slashing and swinging his equally unstable lightsaber in front of him.

It was surprising what you could learn by merely touching the fingertips of another person, but she knew it would be different had it been anyone besides Kylo Ren.

Rey wanted to hate him, but she never could. She understood him too much. He was too much like her without being anything like her at all.

He was a ridiculously spoiled brat who had betrayed good parents and went on a rampage, killing people throughout the galaxy. He should have been serving life sentences on a desolate prison colony, if only for committing patricide. But he had been tipped over the edge by his doubting uncle – and those good parents had not always been great with _parenting_ as much as they were good people.

Rey understood and she felt her heart reaching out, flooding with compassion. If anyone knew that life could throw out curses among blessings, it was her. 

But she had to kill him.

After all this time, she had to kill him. It wasn’t because she wanted to. It was because she had to. He was not going to turn from the darkness.


	4. Part IV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chance meeting in the middle of a battle...or is it just a dream? Time is outside the fate of Rey and Kylo Ren.

_Part IV._

She felt that weird tingling she always had whenever he was around. Drawing a quick breath in, she turned to find her emotional archenemy staring at her, his brooding eyes utterly focused. 

She started moving towards him – she had a limit on actions she could take when it came to Kylo Ren.

The ensuing chaos was fierce.

Everything around the room was destroyed. The Force was moving objects, everything was flying through the air, being slashed by extended lightsabers. But none of the projectiles touched the other Force user. They weren’t fighting, not truly. No more than scratch was seen on either of them, either the dark or the light. 

The dust settled, but the tension in the room didn’t. Rey exhaled, not sure what to say.

Kylo solved her issue. “If that is how you fight, Jedi, you will be dead in no time.”

He never explicitly mentioned who her killer would be, so she was left wondering whether that was a warning out of concern that another would kill her or a threat of his own devising. Instead of voicing her questions, she merely scoffed. “If you think that’s all I have in me, you’re sadly mistaken and very unaware.”

He smiled slowly, though it was sad and feral all at once. “I’m very aware of the potential you hold, Rey.”

She heard her name, and it instantly sent chills up her spine. Perhaps it was the way he said it – like he was tasting the word on his tongue – but it left her confused and uncertain. “How?” She questioned, dancing around the conversation as noncommittally as she could. “The ability the Force gives us is in constant flux.” Her eyes never left him as she added, with a deadpan expression, “Then again, it is the Sith who deal in absolutes.”

Kylo laughed lightly, shocking his nemesis out of her skin. “It is interesting that you know so much about the teachings I ascribe to.”

She tilted her head. “Of course. You often have to understand something before you destroy it.”

“You still wanna kill me?” He questioned, his voice low.

She stared at him, analyzing him. “No. Not anymore.”

“Interesting,” he hissed, “but I think you will anyway.”

Rey leaned forward with interest, causing Kylo to draw back. “Why do you say that?”

Kylo held her stare. “I can see it in your eyes,” he lied.

Rey shook her head, grinning because she could see through him so easily. “You’ve seen it – in my head.”

Kylo’s eyes shifted away, like he had been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. “Does it matter?” He asked, gruffly, then shifted topics. “You will join me, and we will rule together. You can kill me if you want, after that.” His black cloak swept away and he turned to walk from their confrontation.

“Well, it is in keeping with the way of the Sith for the apprentice to kill the Master,” she intoned, looking at his back as he turned away from her.

He stopped, the thumping of his boots on the tile. He tilted his head towards her slightly, and she saw a smirk on his face. “You already know much of the path of the dark side, why not just give in?”

Rey’s eyebrows rose. “I think you know the answer to that.”

“I do,” Kylo nodded, turning back towards her. “But it’s not what you believe is the answer.”

Rey gave him a quizzical look. “In that case, what is the answer?”

A sneer appeared on the darksider’s face. “You’re too pure for it.”

He swept away without having crossed swords with her at all.


	5. Part V.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who would say these two didn't create a whirlwind of emotions every time they appeared together on screen? They're complete messes.

_Part V._

Even though there was no telling how their bond worked, he always managed to find a way to muddle her thoughts. He finally drew his lightsaber, much to her surprise. It crackled to life, giving off a sharp noise that warned challengers of its insanity.

Her lightsaber was a different story. Leia had handed her a crystal; Rey had been confused.

“It was recovered by a Resistance detail on Scarif,” the general had explained. There was no significance there for Rey, but Leia had ghosts that often swarmed around here. “Rebel forces managed to secure a win against the Empire that day, but only at great cost,” she had related. “The plans to the Death Star were stolen from an information tower on Scarif and beamed up to my ship. I nearly lost them to Darth Vader, but I managed to send them away with R2 before they were caught and returned to the Empire.” Leia had looked down in distress. “However, we lost many brave people on Scarif, including a young rebel I never got a chance to thank for her sacrifice,” Leia had added, smiling wistfully. “Her name was Jyn Erso, and a few people still remember how she wore this kyber crystal around her neck. It must have survived the decimation by the Empire, for they attacked their own base using the finished Death Star. Our detail was merely shifting over the ruins, because the planet still stands, only as a wasteland.”

Rey had a kyber crystal from a brave young rebel warrior, and she was proud to bear it. It was part of a legacy, as much as General Organa herself was.

It glowed blue, as if there had been any doubt about what would be reflected in the blade. A blade matched its owner – Rey was a warrior protector born.

She lit it to fend off the impending attack she expected from her nemesis.

Kylo tilted his head to look at her, but he twirled his lightsaber petulantly, almost examining it with the pendulum he created in the air. It was a good thing they were still several paces from each other.

Rey spun her lightsaber into a reverse grip just to show was she was capable of, but she faced down her enemy with warm eyes. _Enemy_ was perhaps the wrong word to use for him. The one time they had teamed up to take down Snoke, she felt something so potent – they were fluid with one another, always watching, always coming to one another’s rescue. If they were united, they were unstoppable.

That was part of the reason why he had to die. As for why it had to be him…well, she couldn’t let him go around destroying and killing all the hope in the galaxy. He represented wicked insanity and she was going to make sure there was enough light for the galaxy to survive. He would snuff it out if he had the chance – but maybe not. Maybe there was something else to find behind his mask. Maybe taking off the the mask of Kylo Ren, the one he had fashioned to represent his grandfather's legacy, didn’t mean that there wasn’t a mask left behind, it just meant that the way he hid himself was different. Maybe, just maybe, she could find the man behind the mask of emotions that was Kylo, that was _Ben_.

Just as easily as he had ignited the blade, Kylo deactivated it. “I won’t kill you, Rey.”

“Why do you have to say my name like that?” She retorted, feeling inner tension building. “Why not call me ‘scavenger’ like it used to be?”

Kylo’s lips quirked to the side. “Because you’re not the same person you used to be, Rey.”

He was trying to get to her; she knew it, she knew it. But that didn’t make him any less infuriating, or any less puzzling. Her blue lightsaber struck forward almost of its own accord, but she was fueled on emotions now, trying to see past him and into whatever lay underneath, trying to see into his soul if she could push him to the brink. 

Kylo reignited his saber, if only to save himself from even the slightest chance that somehow they could really, truly, properly kill each other. “Rey, don’t fight me, _please_.”

She paused because that was too much. His pleading voice, almost a whisper, but just loud enough to be heard above the hum and hiss of their blades – she felt like she was drowning.

Whenever the Force bond connected them, she felt frustrated, sometimes staring blankly and refusing to respond. But on his end, it was different.

It was like his soul was reaching out, trying to tell her something, trying to show her something. She didn’t know quite what, but now his dark eyes were staring her down, and she was looking into their blank depths, trying to find something, trying to figure out how to set Ben Solo free.


	6. Part VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because I wrote this so long ago, it's hard to tell where dreams end and reality begins for these snippets. Although, with the inclusion of Poe and Finn, my theory is that it's reality, like the rebels had a bit of a mission failure, and all it did was serve to create tension between my faves, Kylo and Rey. But whew, it's been a while. Sorry about leaving this hanging. I'll try to keep updating as often as I can!

Part VI.

Rey startled him. “Why _Kylo Ren_?” 

He stared at her, blankly, twisted between feigning uncertainty and just sweeping away from the scene like the dark sea that he is.

She continued, clarifying her earlier question with a quirk of her eyebrow. “Why did you choose the name Kylo Ren?”

He scoffed, looking down at her. He never quite realized how short she was in comparison, not until he stopped to analyze her. _Was he thinking too much about her?  When had she consumed his thoughts?_

They were stalking the bridge of the _Finalizer_ like a couple of panthers, and Hux was behind Kylo, shouting obscenities as Poe and Finn attempted their takeover of the bridge. For some reason, the world seemingly slowed around the two Force users.

“My group of followers, they’re called the Knights of Ren,” he admitted casually, pursuing his lips and looking at the damage the bridge had taken on. He was in time to stop stray fire from one of the Resistance blasters.

Rey shook her head. “I know that bit,” she informed him. “Your mother filled me in on a lot of details Luke never got the chance to specify.”

Kylo shuddered at the mention of his – of _the General_ – and his dark eyes flashed back to Rey quickly. “That’s all there is, Rey. There is no special story behind it.”

Rey smiled. “I think there is and you just won’t tell me. I know perfectly well why you gave up Ben Solo, but why did you choose Kylo Ren? The Knights would not exist if you had not come first,” she reasoned.

 “Ah, but the former Supreme Leader chose that name.” Kylo looked away from her with an air of disgust, his bottom lip quivering. “He wasn’t particularly creative.”

Rey wasn’t sure whether she should laugh or cringe – the awkward and cruel Kylo Ren was cracking jokes. “What about Kylo? Did you make that choice?” She was trying to figure out where Snoke ended and Kylo began.

 “Perhaps,” he intoned deeply, his eyes not leaving her face. “But the past is the past. Kylo is all there is and all I will ever be.”

Rey wasn’t sure how everything connected, but she knew she’d never learn the bigger picture if he continued to shut down on her. The alternative was pushing him away and never having another civil conversation with him. “Ben and Kylo are the same person,” she announced, the words leaving her mouth slowly.

It was like a wave of recognition comes over her. Ben was just the name that got rejected. Kylo was as much Ben as Ben was Kylo. She didn’t know him, not like Luke or Leia would have. She didn’t see him when he called himself Ben. But all at once, she knew Kylo was only a progression of Ben; Ben was on the path and Kylo was walking in his footsteps because they were one in the same.

Kylo was giving her an icy stare when she resurfaced. “What did you say?”

 “Why weren’t you unsettled when I started calling you Ben? Why did you let me call you Ben?” Rey asked, her thoughts hurried. “It’s supposed to be the name you killed off.”

Kylo’s hand was gripping his lightsaber fiercely now, and she was sure he was nearly at the breaking point he would need to be to ignite it.

Rey let out a startled laugh as she came to a recognition. “You can’t keep remaking yourself, Kylo,” she announced with something like a childish glare. “Snoke was in your head, manipulating you, and now he’s dead. You don’t have to be a puppet anymore.” She looks at him earnestly. “Which also means you can stop running. You don’t have to be afraid.”

It was almost comical, the way his face twisted into a cold mask. “Don’t offer those words back to me like they’ll mean something.” He was talking about Starkiller, and now he appeared truly angry, his eyes flashing like lightning. “I am not afraid of _anyone_!” It was a harsh snarl that tore through him, his words like a saber slashing through the air. 

This time, he did ignite his lightsaber. But instead of running her through, he turned and started stalking towards her friends.

 


	7. Part VII.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I so badly want to rewrite this though... I've really improved in writing since I created this story, and I've been making cringe faces while reading and making minor edits.   
> I apologize if I'm trashing Star Wars lore, because I'm not even sure if I have tread upon false grounds or not at this point. I usually do a lot of research before writing, so it should be relatively accurate, but here's the forewarning if you're a die-hard fan. Besides, I guess this is technically an AU... so I'm more or less safe.   
> Anywho...enjoy!

Part VII.

 

He wasn’t afraid. He wasn’t afraid of anything. He was the most powerful man in the galaxy. What did he have to fear?

He stalked after Poe and Finn, ignoring her calls from behind him. Hux spotted him first, being that the Resistance fiends had their backs to him. The general gave him a blankly angry look that might have been directed at almost anything.

So Hux was actually smarter than Kylo often gave him credit for. Pity, since he had been considering disposing of the annoying ginger of late. He was also keen on the idea of demolishing the new troop leader. Phasma had been a decent captain; her replacement was much worse, and could barely lead the platoon of troopers that had taken position up against the rebels competently.

Kylo halted any stray blasts with the Force and was ready to slash the _traitor_ in the back – he had already done it once, why couldn’t the idiot just die? – but a bright blue blade encountered his crackling red one before he could follow through with the plan.

 “Don’t even think about it. If there are any people in the galaxy I wouldn't let you touch, it's my friends.” Rey hissed, her eyes daring him as she stepped fully in between her allies and his blood red saber. 

He actually really liked her eyes – _No, no_ , he didn’t. He could care less. “Tell your friends to get off my bridge then!” Kylo quipped back, his whole face shifting in anger.

Over her shoulder he watched the traitor and that wretched pilot and a handful of others as they viewed the Force users’ battle and decided that fighting storm troopers was a safer battle. They were charging into the fray; Kylo wouldn’t have been surprised if they tried using their fists. How meager.

 “Stop trying to ravage the galaxy and maybe we will!” Rey shouted back as she slammed her saber against his.

She was surprisingly forceful – then again, he shouldn’t have been surprised. It was Rey. “I am trying to bring order to the galaxy,” Kylo argued, his eyes darker than midnight, “and I offered you a place in that plan, but you turned me down!” His whole face quivered as he shoved her fate in her face.

Rey glared, her eyes tightening. “I would never find a place in cruel, underhanded dealings,” she intoned. “The shift in power left you free to do whatever you wanted. You could have called off the war between the Resistance and the First Order and real order might have been possible. But no, you kept on fighting against the people who haunt you the most. You proved to me that you aren’t capable of order. You only showed how fearful you really are.”

The truth would kill Rey from Nowhere today.

He reached for her mind at the same time as she reached for his.

Suddenly, it was as though the universe had burst into flames. World crumbled, empires toppled. It was a vision of the past – that which he hated so much but lived in every day. But the balance was reached just before he collapsed into a heap on the black-washed floor of the _Finalizer,_ just before Poe pulled the equally concussed Rey back to his fighter: there was calm, there was sun, and there was Rey, standing by his side. 


	8. Part VIII.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit cracky...but the angsty turn at the end was what I was aiming for, so props to that. Happy reading!

Part VIII.

 

She ground her teeth together. Even when she was sleeping, that damn tug from the Force bond could pull her to earth.

Her eyes flashed open unwillingly, and she rolled slightly to the side before closing them in attempts to ignore her summons. She couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t obnoxiously watch her sleep, but at this point, she didn’t care.

 “Your knee is digging into me,” he mumbled, his voice low and full of malcontent.

Rey’s eyes flew open and she disjointedly pushed herself away from the sound before she was even completely aware of the source. She sat upright, the covers sliding off of her while his didn’t even flicker.

 “What the hell are you doing in my bed?” She questioned in a furious whisper. She wasn’t above reaching for her lightsaber, no matter how tired she had been only moments ago. Her fight or flight senses had engaged, and now she was somewhere between confused and exasperated. 

Kylo glared, his eyes hard. “You’re actually in my bed.”

The implications of both of their statements went relatively unnoticed by the pair, given that neither was really in the other’s bed in a proper sort of sense.

Rey took a breath, trying to avoid listening to her instincts that screamed for her to simply ignore him. “I can’t believe this still happens – and randomly, too. One of us should have figured out how to control this by now,” she added, launching a telling look at Kylo.

The Supreme Leader looked affronted. “What makes you think I even want to mess with our bond?” Though he asked the question coldly, there was a certain raise to his voice when he claimed the bond between himself and Rey.

She offered him a raise of her eyebrows. “Well, I suppose it might be helpful for me not to end up seeing you in a vulnerable state – or at all,” she added, scoffing.

Kylo dark eyes glittered with promise. “You think I’m vulnerable?”

Rey scowled but did not move to recant her words. “Being tired is a vulnerable state, yes.”

 “And yet you wear your Jedi robes to bed,” he observed, a snarl escaping him as he pronounced the name of an enemy faction.

Rey blinked, torn between slapping him for the observation and making a smart remark. “I would prefer if you could avoid making slurs against the –”

He shifted, just enough, for her view to change. _He wasn’t wearing a shirt._ She wasn’t sure if he was completely naked or if he declined to wear shirts to bed, but he was shaping up to be a real delinquent in her mind. _This made it twice now..._

He caught onto her falter and arched an eyebrow, his lips pouting out just slightly. He did look decidedly vulnerable in his state, it was almost too bad that she wasn’t in his bed – no, _no,_ not like that. She would have been stabbing him to death, or at least, that was what she wished to do after being jolted out of sleep. 

She promised herself it would be more of a save-the-galaxy-and-my-friends-from-death-and-destruction thing than a personal grudge. 

 “If you’re going to verbally battle me, Rey, you may want to avoid leaving your sentences unfinished,” Kylo remarked, a twinge of humor in his voice.

He really was fickle, she decided. Scowling, she admonished him. “Go away, Kylo.”

His eyes flashed, holding some emotion she couldn’t quite determine. “What happened to _Ben_? Did you give up on your theories already, little one?” He was taunting, full of malice, heat, and betrayal.

She couldn’t help want to save him and beat him up all at once. Sighing, she tried to spin herself in the right direction again. “I haven’t given up, I just don’t fancy tempting your rage.”

 “Did I ever seem enraged when you referred to me by that name?” He questioned her, his eyes bewitching her with a death stare that seemed to look into her soul.

 “You did just last week. But before that,” she paused, musing, “no.”

A somber smile crossed the dark knight’s lips. “You’re remarkably dim sometimes, Jedi.”

He threw the moniker around like it was garbage, but she knew better. “I’m remarkably dim? You’re not too bright yourself, Supreme Leader,” she taunted, glancing him over with a challenge in her gaze. “You don’t think I’ve heard the tale of how you tried destroying a Force projection single-handedly, letting the Resistance escape from you without even trying to kill the remaining members?” She inched closer on her knees, wanting him to keep listening, even as he looked at her with glassy eyes full of anger. “Not only that, but you miss your mother. _I know._ I know what it's like to miss something that you're not even sure exists anymore. And you, in your own shadows, can admit that some part of you regrets what you did to your father. But will you make amends for any of it? No, you’re obsessed with ruling the galaxy, with violence, with your own leadership, with –”

It was the second he’d cut her off, but it was oh so different from the first time. “You.”

It was all he said, and it took her a few moments to register what he was saying, what he meant. Then she just stared at him and he blinked back innocently.

 “You’re a sick, twisted bastard,” she hissed, her eyes of steel not leaving his eyes of murky water. "And you're so _contradictory_." 

This time he did sit up, thoroughly startling her. His sheets rippled around him, pooling at his waist, as his torso was exposed to the world as he slid so he was leaning back against a wall.

She didn’t try to hide this time, but she was suddenly the most uncomfortable she thought she’d ever been in her life. “I – you – would you please just cover up again? I am literally in my Jedi robes and this is what you expect me to deal with?” She intoned, her eyes casting for an escape, wanting to look anywhere but at him. 

Kylo waved away her concern. “It’s nothing you’ve not seen when you’re in the company of the traitor, I’m sure.”

That successfully riled her up, and sleep was no longer a concern. Whenever people mentioned Finn’s romantic entanglements and named her as a potential, she usually laughed and denied the atrocity outright, but Kylo’s accusation was different – it wasn’t quite as direct and that made it even more threatening. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Finn, exactly; things were constantly increasing in complication and her relationship with Finn was no exception, especially now that Rose and Poe were both variables.

 “How dare you address something you have no understanding of?” Rey was practically seething, and she was both too close for comfort and not close enough to get her point across. She had been so far away from Kylo the first time they had truly connected, their fingertips communicating the truth to each of them – now she was so much closer but so much further away.

His fingers wrapped around her forearm, before the protests could continue or begin anew. Their position seemed even more compromising now than it had before, despite the fact that she had been in a found in a situation of domestic mimicry earlier. She was looming over him on angle, but she wasn’t sure who was really holding the power here.

Kylo’s eyes narrowed on her face, and he wasn’t looking anywhere she supposed a normal male human might. Niima Outpost had seen its fair share of carnally-concerned male visitors who thought she was just a weakling with a pretty face, and so of course she knew, she’d always known. But Kylo was far from normal, and she also knew that.

The Force flourished where the heat of Kylo’s fingers did, and she couldn’t help but shut her eyes – out of confusion, out of understanding, out of the melancholy she now felt.

It was like the first time they had fought on Starkilller, only this time they shared so much history and so much past that it all seemed to intertwine.

The whispered tendrils of his voice brushed up against her brain, but even then, her eyes stayed closed. It was moment swallowed up in time. “You really don’t want to kill me.” He sounded completely mad but also like a man shocked by disbelief.

In short, he was drowning, and there was only one escape.

He didn’t have to pull or push, really, but he was such a hulking person already, it would have been preposterous. His lips chased air, ready to connect them, bind them, hold them both forever.

But then air was all that was there as their Force bond snapped.

He was all alone again, breathing hard, and growling as he caught his breath. 

And she was all alone again, her eyes finally opened. She let out a long sigh, having survived against him again. But for how much longer? 


	9. Part IX.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something tells me I should get this posted before the next movie actually comes out...  
> And what even are the ships here? Tbh, I don't even know and I'm the author.

Part IX.

She buried her face in her hands, letting angry tears fall. Why her? Why not someone else? Kylo Ren was crazy, insensitive, stupid - and worst of all, nothing she tried worked. Why did she have to deal with him? Why couldn’t Finn have turned out to be the Force user? In the end, her destiny was decided. But if destiny picked her, it could have picked anyone. 

Why did she feel so conflicted when she was around him? Why couldn't they simply just be honest with each other? 

Nothing seemed to be able to glue them together, at least not permanently. The feelings they had were temporary, fleeting, even if something inside said they weren't supposed to be. 

 

She felt his presence next to her before his weight sank down into the bed next to her. “Rey?”

“Poe,” she greeted, straining her voice through the tears and lowering her hands from her face despite the shame. What kind of Jedi was she, breaking down like this? But he was a friend, and she had no one else to seek right now. 

Things were odd with Finn sometimes now – with Poe, they were easier, because there was less history there. Less experience. Some part of her already knew he was someone she could trust.   

 “This is about _him_ , isn’t it?” The pilot inquired, a hint of anger marring his even voice. When she didn’t quite manage to answer, he out a terse noise that sounded like a combination between a growl and a groan. “After everything he’s done, I can’t say I’m not keen on meeting Kylo Ren in battle.”

Rey understood what he meant, but she was instantly worried and sobered up slightly. “Honestly, Poe, I wouldn’t wish that for you, or anyone else. You saw what he did to Finn." She eyed him, recalling something Poe had mentioned before - he knew what it felt like to experience Kylo Ren at his worst. "Besides, you've experienced some of his rage, I gather." 

Poe grasped one of her hands in his own, but it wasn’t exactly a quick gesture. It wasn’t entirely unwelcome either, although Rey was still slightly perturbed and confused by friendly human contact. “After what he did to Finn, to you, what he’s done to the whole fleet and to the galaxy, I’m even more certain that he needs to be stopped. To hell with the First Order and their new Supreme Leader." 

 “I honestly don’t think Ren can be stopped by force, not unless we want to lose more people than we even have.” She didn’t say it to be cruel, or to frustrate him, she meant it. “But then, I'm not really sure how to stop him." 

Poe’s eyes narrowed analytically, although his expression was light. "Out of all of us, I think you're the most capable to take on the task." 

Rey felt her tears jerking again, because she knew that it was expected of her, the so-called last Jedi. She knew she had to destroy Kylo Ren, because the whole galaxy was counting on her. That was nothing new. But…she was nineteen and she’d been thrust into this world unexpectedly; she’d felt that call of the power that had been dormant inside of her for long and her first instinct was to run. That had even been before her confrontation with Kylo, before her first meeting with Luke. The suddenness of it all was mildly overwhelming. She'd been trying to control the frustration since her experiences with Luke. 

 "It's just...I'm purely confused by everything now, Poe. I hated him, I thought he was a monster. But it turns it out he’s a human, which makes even worse. He had everything, Poe, and he still let it all go. I would have given anything to live like he did before turning to the dark side. He scorned it and wants to burn it all to the ground.” She paused, looking into her companion’s eyes. “But at the same time, I feel compassion for him. There is so much of him that is lost, broken, and just as lost as I am. I know I should hate him, but I can’t do it anymore. Now that I know who he is, it’s different.” She looked away for a moment, entirely uncertain about his reaction. But then she had to face it, for she had openly delivered all of her concerns to him.

Poe wasn’t giving her wide eyes and a worried expression as she’d imagined. Finn, perhaps, would have managed to conjure up that expression. Poe, instead, just looked worn out. “You and Leia are probably the only ones on the base who have any idea who Ben truly is anymore.”

Rey turned to him in surprise. “ _Ben_?”           

Poe’s eyes met hers and an understanding was born. “I knew him when he was a boy. We’re about three years apart in age, and I imagine I was one of the few people he could consider a _companion_ growing up. When he got older, there was jealousy and tension between us and I avoided him like the plague after he nearly clubbed me over the head with a wrench using the Force. He left to train as a Jedi without any sort of reconciliation with me." Poe shrugged. "I never wanted to understand him, and I can't pretend to be fascinated with the guy now." 

Rey nodded attentively. The stunt with the wrench sounded like Kylo, that was for sure. Part of her wondered - what would it have been like to know Ben as a child? Would she have been able to reach him then? Would he have still run to the arms of darkness? 

 “Of course, we did run into each other right before I met Finn.” Poe shook his head wistfully, staring off into the distance. "I told you about that before - that's when he messed with my head." 

Rey was empathetic, having faced the same thing. She couldn’t help but just look at Poe, because she could feel something there, like he was a kindred spirit. She wanted to reach out to him, the way she had reached towards Kylo, but that didn’t feel right. She looked down at his hands, still holding hers. Feeling the compassion, she squeezed his hands, offering him a soft smile.

 “I am,” she started, her voice containing a promise, “going to kill Kylo Ren. For the safety of the galaxy. For the sake of peace. Even if it’s the last thing I want to do." Rey's eyes flitted to the side. "The last time I tried trusting him, he backed me into a corner and tried to coerce me into ruling the galaxy with him.” 

Poe looked both interested and mildly irritated to hear that, but something told her the irritation was focused at his old friend rather than at her. “You’re not going to have to face him alone, Rey. I am pretty sure Finn will publicly protest it, and I’m not going to let you go without some kind of backup, either.” He offered her a half grin, but it didn't seem completely genuine. 

“You know how Finn is when it comes to danger.” She couldn't help but tease, although the former stormtrooper had certainly become more of a visionary of late. "Either way, I can’t accept the idea of you two putting yourselves at risk like that, especially not after everything else that's happened.” But then a thought struck her, and a grin slipped over her lips. It felt like it had been forever. “You never know, Kylo might come after you with a wrench again.”

Poe’s eyes did go wide then, and he cracked a real smile. “Did you just make a joke?”

Rey sniffed, but the grin was still in place. “What, am I not allowed to make jokes?”

Poe’s smile shifted into something warm. “Just surprised, that’s all.” He looked at her, and her heart swelled. Her early judgement of him seemed correct. “You’re full of surprises, I think, Rey.”

The way he said her name was so different from how Kylo said it; for the darksider, it was a sweet word that was like forbidden fruit, the way he bit into it. For Poe, it just seemed to remind her of what she’d felt the first time she’d seen Takodana – a feeling of wonderment, maybe even curiosity. She liked that. It was more like the normal she'd always been hoping to find. 

 “I suppose you are too, pilot,” she added, teasingly.

 “I think you’ll just have to wait and find out,” Poe returned, matching her for her words.

That was how Finn found them, Rey watching over Poe eagerly as he told her stories of Kylo as child, the little pieces he could remember. She seemed fascinated, really, and then the young hero noticed their intertwined hands. A small part of him was muddled, confused by the familial regard with which they seemed to hold each other. Part of him was simply cheered up by seeing the whole thing. His friends were becoming friends, slowly but surely. 

He quickly left, not sure what he was intruding on, but not wanting to intrude all the same. At least, not at that moment. But one of these days, he was sure they would all end up fighting side by side. The thought was comforting, in a weird way. But that was what the times had come to. 


End file.
